I recently traveled to a nearby town to have lunch with a friend. I had directions written carefully in my little address book. When I got to the part that said "turn left at the stop light in California," I realized that I had a problem. A new highway had been finished since I wrote the directions and the new highway by-passed California. I was stumped. Most people wouldn't have been; but since I am directionally challenged, I didn't know what to do. I have been lost so many times that I do not venture out without carefully written directions. My carefully written directions were not valid. I pulled over and called my friend. I was directed to take Highway 87 south----a left turn. I do not use terms like south and north. "South" and "North" were armies in the Civil War, and they are of no help to me. This experience taught me a valuable lesson: DO NOT WRITE DIRECTIONS USING LANDMARKS because they change. I was talking with some sympathetic friends----all women---about this. They agreed with me that "turn left" and "turn right" are better directions than "turn north" or "turn south." Only men use those directions; and if the sun isn't up or you don't know whether it is A.M. or P.M., north and south are useless; but left is always left and right is always right no matter what time of day it is. I think I will stop now and go take a walk up the hill and turn left by a little clump of daisies. I will continue to go straight until I pass the yellow house and then I will take a left and go downhill until I come to the house that has the statue of St. Francis of Assisi in the flower bed. I will then turn right and return home remembering to turn right by the little clump of daisies. (I hope no one painted the yellow house or picked the daisies.)
